November 21st

It’s been a long time since I have been here and needless to say, the past few months have been a bit rough. A bit rougher than usual and it all goes back to this day…November 21st.

From my last post, I had shared that on my journey of the chase I was struggling and a lot more than I could handle. I felt this sense of darkness that I couldn’t shake off anymore and I knew it was time to get help. So on this day, my partner had taken me to the doctors and explained to her how I had been feeling over the past couple of months because I knew that there was something wrong. 

Even When It Hurts

No one likes to go through pain. No one likes to feel it yet it’s inevitable, there’s no growth without pain. We can experience pain in the form of absolutely everything. The pain of losing someone you loved whether it’s their departure from this Earth or the separation of relationships built upon years of memories and love. The pain of struggling to provide for your family, not knowing whether or not you are going to be able to put food on the table tomorrow and nurture your children to the best of your ability. The pain of not knowing where you are going and being left in a situation that brings you to your knees in a silent room surrounded by nothing but the sound of loneliness and emptiness.

Pain brings all sorts of diminishing emotions; torment, anxiety, burden, grief, desperation, frustration, anger and a lot, a loot of hurt.

Running the Chase

If you were to ask me to write my thoughts on paper and share them months ago, I probably would say it was a joke. The biggest joke to be honest. There’s something about sharing your thoughts and ideas that has always made me feel weak and open to the fact that you can give someone that sort of information and they could have the power to destroy you or nurture you. However, this is not the purpose of this! I started this journey as it has been something I had been wanting to do for so long for I had been someone with so many thoughts and I just needed to get them out. If  at anyway and stage I could relate to someone else out there who may be going through the same then this would only be the beginning of answers I may be searching for.